By Michelle Skinner, Communications Director

Did you get engaged? Congratulations! Planning your big day can be a lot of fun — and a lot of money. And since it’s such an emotional time in your lives, it’s easy for costs to skyrocket based on your algorithmically cultivated social media feeds and, new to me, AI-generated “perfect” weddings. Lucky for you and your wallet, I sat down with an expert to help you navigate saving for — and saving on — your big day. Autumn Kozimer is a wedding and special events planner in the Bitterroot Valley, where her weddings typically cost the happy couple over $120,000. She’s also into saving money, though, so she shared a few of her top cost-saving tips so your big day doesn’t bust your budget. Watch and learn… then read on for more tips.

Set a Budget

Seriously, if there’s one piece of financial advice I could have given myself at about six different junctures in my life, it would have been, “Set a budget.” Getting married? Set a budget. Having a kid? Set a budget for clothes. (More on this next week!) Planning a Scottish getaway so you and your bestie can live out your Harry Potter dreams? Working on a budget.

But back to weddings. Find the amount that you and your partner can agree upon — or your parents if they are helping foot the bill — based on your other savings goals in life. Then prioritize and estimate how to allocate what is most important and what you can do without. Autumn recommends thinking about your budget from a per-person perspective. If you have 300 guests, a $30,000 budget is $100/person to cover everything from invitations (and postage!), gowns and bridesmaid dresses and flowers, to food, servers, and music. If you have 150 guests, though, that budget seems to stretch a little farther.

Like the Rolling Stones said, “You can’t always get what you want,” so have a little grace with one another and be prepared to compromise. As long as you can agree on your top one or two priorities, having a keg of Busch Light instead of a tasting of microbrews probably isn’t going to ruin your wedding. Here’s how to talk about money without fighting with your spouse. Get a head start.

Know When to Hold Them and Know When to Fold Them

Unless you’re Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, your budget probably won’t allow for everything you want. Here are a few things to splurge on and a few items that really don’t matter in the whole grand scheme of things.

Here are a few things Autum recommends splurging on:

• Anything you’re both passionate about
• Food
• Things that guests touch, like comfortable chairs, high-quality linens, and invitations

And here are a few things that you should totally cut if you’re not passionate about them:

• Wedding programs
• Favors (unless they’re edible)
• The number of guests (brutal but strategic)

Pick the Right Dance Partner(s)

Credit unions are definitely the best place to save for your big day. Higher interest and friendly local service? Yes, please! Create an account that’s separate from your emergency and retirement savings. This way, you won’t be tempted to spend your other savings on your big day. You can set up automatic transfers from your checking to savings, or you can add money a little at a time. This might also be the right time to set up your first joint account as a couple, so you can both contribute and keep track of the total. Read more about combining — or not combining — your finances.

Wedding planners are the experts when it comes to expenses and expectations. It’s literally their job to tell you you can’t spend $40,000 on flowers based on your AI-generated “perfect” wedding when your entire budget is $50,000. They also work with local venues and vendors daily, so they know what and who will work for you. Professional planners also help you stay on budget, make sure your venue is set and ready, and manage your mother-in-law when she’s had too many snifters of brandy. You’ll get to know each other so well that you’ll probably want them as a guest at your wedding instead of your behind-the-scenes organizer.

That Escalated Quickly

Surprises are great on your birthday, but not so much when you start receiving invoices after the wedding. Here are a few surprise costs you and your budget might not anticipate:

• Gratuity, service charges, set-up fees, and corkage fees
• Some of your vendors, like photographers or musicians, charge for a certain amount of time in their contract. Does that cover all of the photos you want taken or playing “Cotton Eyed Joe” 16 times?
• Bridal party gifts
• Wedding insurance
• Bachelor/Bachelorette party costs

Something Old, Something Blue, Something Borrowed, and Something New

You don’t have to buy everything for your wedding. And honestly, who wants to store decorations you’ll literally never use again? Consider what you can DIY instead, or borrow from friends or family. Your sister will appreciate you taking her old wedding decor off her hands.

All couples want their weddings to be unique and memorable. Enter the off-season wedding. Non-typical wedding dates, days of the week, and times can be equally, if not more, beautiful than a June or October wedding on a Saturday. They can also help you save on venue costs, flights, and hotel rooms, which frees up space in your budget to splurge on a must-have.

Implement the smart-shopping skills that you use at the grocery store on your wedding. Search for online deals, clip coupons (ask your mom for help!), and hunt the clearance section. Plus, thrifting is so trendy right now that people will be impressed at the deal you score on a silver cake plate and champagne flutes.

The number one tip for saving money on your wedding? Something new… as in a new partnership with a professional wedding planner. Cameron Forbes, wedding planner and founder of Forbes Functions in NYC. “A good wedding planner knows where to find savings and which elements offer the most flexibility. We’ve built relationships with vendors for exclusive discounts, know when to negotiate, and can suggest alternatives that still align with your style but come at a lower cost.” It’s like saving at a credit union instead of simply stashing cash in your top dresser drawer.

Happily Ever After

This is all practical advice, but don’t forget that your wedding is about you and the person you love the most — don’t worry too much about anyone else’s expectations or what you see on social media. And if you can’t afford the wedding of your dreams, that’s okay, too. After all, a wedding is just one day, but marriage is for the rest of your lives.